It all started when I was in year nine, ignorant and naive. Life was like a joke to me and I had been led into the wrong path by a gang of lost and mislead people who were a very bad influence to me. But if I really think about it, it wasn’t the gangs or anybody else’s fault except MINE! Because I had a mind of my own to make my own decisions and to be able to understand what was right and wrong.

The only problem was I didn’t use it and that is the very reason why I have ended up where I am now…DEAD in a DARK, LONELY GRAVE!

You see in year nine I had given up praying and that’s when all my problems had started. I didn’t realize praying would have been the key to my happiness.

Throughout my entire non-praying life there was always something deep down within me somehow bugging and telling me what I was doing was wrong. But I was stubborn and ignored my conscience, unaware of the hardships I was going to be faced with for the future to come.

Giving up praying had changed my attitude entirely. I no longer cared for my school education, failing nearly every single examination that I sat for. My attitude towards my parents had also become very sour. I was continuously rude and cruel to my mother because of the arguments we had on the topic of praying. As a matter of fact my whole life was turning into a great catastrophe. I was not only distressing myself because of the way I was acting, but I was also upsetting the people that I loved.

Eventually a time came when I couldn’t take much more of the life. I was living and I had my mind on killing myself. I saw no purpose in life; no reason for my existence at all and that’s when I committed the second biggest sin in my life… I committed SUICIDE!

Now my soul is not at rest, writing out my life story with my bare finger only wishing I had a chance to be alive and worship Allah with all my might because now I understand leaving my religion and my praying is not worth all the pain and sorrow I am going through now.

RAHMA TOHIDI-ESFAHANI

Fatima (peace be upon her) asked her father: "What is the punishment for those men and women who are negligent and careless with their prayers.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Allah will afflict that person with fifteen forms of punishment. Six in this world, three at the time of his death, three in his grave and three on the Day of Judgement."
As for the six that he will be inflicted with in this world, they are:
1)Allah will take away His blessings from that person's life i.e., meaning that Allah will shorten his life span.
2) Allah will take away His blessings from that person's subsistence i.e., meaning that his wealth and his sustenance will be void of prosperity.
3) Allah will remove all indications of piety from his face
4) He will not be rewarded for any deed that he performs
5) His prayers and invocations will not even be considered
6) When Allah's faithful subjects pray and invoke Allah for the believers, they shall not share in the benefits of such invocations.
 
As for the hardships that he will experience at the time of his death, they are that:
1) He shall die a very menial death
2) He shall die hungry
3) He shall die thirsty, and even if he was given the water of all the rivers on Earth to drink from his thirst will not be quenched.
 
As for the torment that he will receive in his grave, they are that:
1) Allah will delegate to him an angel solely for the purpose of irritating him in his grave
2) His grave will be constricted
3) Darkness will envelop his grave
 
And of the miseries he will face on the Day of Judgement is that:
1) Allah will appoint an angel to drag him around on his face with everyone watching
2) He will be judge very severely
3) Allah will disregard him and will not purify him and awaiting him is a very severe punishment